Oh Water is weak, I don't drink wine,
Scotch is my choice when others buy.
But a beer or two, of a decent brew,
And both can drink, my love and I.
I placed my ass down upon some seat,
Thinking that it was a trusty chair.
But some stupid bloke played a nasty joke;
When I sat down it wasn't there.
Oh, vodka is strong, and sherry is fine
And Beaujolais when it is new,
But brandy that's old keeps out the cold,
Though it hurts your head in the morning too.