Vera and Mame: [singing]We'll always be bosom buddies, Friends, sisters and pals; We'll always be bosom buddies, If life should reject you, There's me to protect you. Vera: If I say that your tongue is vicious, Mame: If I call you uncouth; Vera and Mame: It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy Will sit down and tell you the truth. Vera: [speaking]Tho' now and again I'm aware that my candid opinion may sting, Mame: Tho' often my frank observation might scald; I've been meanin' to tell you for years You should keep your hair natural like mine. Vera: If I kept my hair natural like yours, I'd be bald. [singing]But darling, Vera and Mame: We'll always be dear companions, Vera: My crony, Mame: My mate; Vera and Mame: We'll always be harmonizing, Vera: Orphan Annie and Sandy, Vera and Mame: Like Amos and Andy. Vera: If I say that your sense of style's as far as off as your youth; It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy Will tell you the whole stinkin' truth. Mame: [speaking][ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/bosom_buddies-lyrics-a.html ] Each time that a critic has written, "Your voice is the voice of a frog!" Straight to your side to defend you I rush; You know that I'm there ev'ry time that the world makes and unkind remark. When they say "Vera Charles is the world's greatest lush!" [singing]It hurts me! Vera: And if I say your fangs are showing, Mame, pull in your claws, It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy Will notice the obvious flaws! Mame: [speaking]I feel it's my duty to tell you it's time to adjust to your age; You try to be "Peg O' My Heart", when you're "Lady Macbeth." Exactly how old are you, Vera? The truth! Vera: Well, how old do you think? Mame: I'd say somewhere in between forty and the death! Vera and Mame: [singing]But sweetie, Vera: I'll always be Alice Toklas, If you'll be Gertrude Stein. And tho' I'll admit I've dished you, I've gossiped and gloated, But I'm so devoted. Mame: And if I say that sex and guts made you into a star, It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy Will tell you how rotten you are. Vera and Mame: Just turn your bosom buddy For aid and affection, For help and direction, For loyalty, love and for sooth! Remember that who else but a bosom buddy Will sit down and level And give you the devil, Will sit down and tell you the truth!