Immanuel Kant was a real pissantWho was very rarely stable,Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggerWho could think you under the table,David Hume could out-consume,Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.And Wittgenstein was a beery swineWho was just as schloshed as Schlegel.There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya'Bout the raising of the wrist.Socrates himself was permanently pissed.John Stuart Mill, of his own free willOn half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.Plato, they say could stick it away,Half a crate of whiskey everyday.Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,Hobbes was fond of his dram,And René DesCartes was a drunken fart"I drink, therefore I am."Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed.