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Cool Guy 5 Lyrics

from Stan & Judy's Kid

"Cool Guy 5" is track #14 on the album Stan & Judy's Kid.
"Cool Guy 5" is track #14 on the album Stan & Judy's Kid.

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-{Sean pulling up in his car to a hooker-

GIRL #5:Hey, honey.
SEAN:S'up baby?looking all smooth, standing on the corner at 3 in the morning and shit.You cold, baby?You want to use me as a blanket?

GIRL #5:I'm just doing my thing.

SEAN:Well, does doing your thing mean your tricky?'Cause I'd like to invest some of my hard earned money towards loving you, if you know what I getting at.
GIRL #5:Well, how much you got, big man?

SEAN:Well, I'm willing to drop 50 dollars on your ass, but there's a condition going on.

GIRL #5:What's that?

SEAN:You're going to have to put those lucious lips of yours on... my... slub-a-dub.

GIRL #5:Ooh, I can do that.

SEAN:You can?

GIRL #5:Mm-hmm.

SEAN:You mean, you ain't going make fun of the fact that I called my gizza-gazza a "slub-a-dub"?

GIRL #5:Honey you can call your thing what ever you want to as long as you got 50 bucks.

SEAN:oh sna-- well, alright then here's the 50 dollars,-{unzips pants- and here's my flip stick, now start wetting that thing up.

GIRL #5:-{Opens his door- Sir, you are under arrest.

-{police car pulls up-

SEAN:You got to be fucking with mind here.


GIRL #5:No, I'm not.

COP:Good job denise.we'll take him from here.

-{Cop hand cuffs Sean-

SEAN:WHAT?!?! You going to arrest my ass for trying to get a ride on my slip 'n' slide?Fuck that shit.

GIRL #5:Hey honey,when you get to jail, you're going to be on the other end of a slip 'n' slide, and I hope you enjoy yourself.

SEAN:WWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT?!?!?!

-{cop throws sean in back of police car-

COP:Just get in the back, asshole.

GIRL #5:-{from outside- You sick fuck.

SEAN:Damn!!-{crying- This is a bunch of bullshit!!!

PEEPER: Piss on me.-{also in the back of the police car-

SEAN:WHAT?!

PEEPER:Please, piss me.

SEAN:NO!!!

PEEPER:Just a tinkle.

SEAN:Fuck that, keep him away from me.

PEEPER:Urine.

SEAN:Keep this man away from me.

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