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Alan Jackson

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The Talkin' Repair Shop Blues

by Alan Jackson

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Lyrics: The Talkin' Song Repair Blues - Alan Jackson Genre/Lang. : Country The mechanic raised up from under my hood He shook his head and said, 'This ain't good Your timin' belt's done, shrunk one size too small Those spark plug wires are a little too long And your main prodsponder's nearly gone Your injector ports are stripped and that ain't all.' 'The torque converter's runnin' low on torque And that water pump's nearly down a quart But we caught it all in time so you're in luck' He said, 'I've got the time and I've got the parts Just give me the word and I'm ready to start I think we can bring her in for eight hundred bucks.' But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny It won't take too long, it'll just take money Then he said, 'Ain't you that songwriter guy?' I said, 'Yes, I am,' he said, 'So am I.' And he sat down and played me a song by the grease rack When he finished singin' he gave me a smile And I closed my eyes and pondered awhile And he said, 'What do you think? Now don't hold nothin' back.' Well, I gave him my most sorrowful look And I said, 'This song's got a broken hook I can order you a new one from Nashville but it won't be cheap And I know you've been using a cut-rate thesaurus 'Cause your adverbs have backed up into your chorus Now your verse is runnin' on verbs that are way too weak.' But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny It won't take too long, it'll just take money And I said, 'Hold on friend now I'm not through I hate to be the one to give you the news. But your whole melodic structure's done worked itself loose It's got so many dotted eighth notes in it I'd keep her under fifty beats per minute I mean, that's just me talkin', it's really up to you.' And you've got a bad safety problem with That dominant chord with the augmented fifth Just see how dangerously high it raises you up So just go on over there and work on my car I'll sit here by the fan and chances are I can straighten this thing out for eig...nine hundred bucks.' But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny It won't take too long You guessed it It may be a hit I like it
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