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How to Be a Carpenter Lyrics

"How to Be a Carpenter" was written by Stan Hertzman; Adrian Belew.
"How to Be a Carpenter" was written by Stan Hertzman; Adrian Belew.

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So you want to be a carpenter, do you?
Well it takes more than a hammer, boy
You're gonna need blueprints and a will to build
And straighten your cap, you look like you've been through a war

Wipe that grin off your mug, you got a sturdy frame?
Sluggish posture just won't cut it
You're gonna need schooling, and, and, and take notes
And God if I catch you yawning again

You're gonna regret ever asking for my help
And dammit you gotta hustle, this is a slacker free zone
And, where's my pencil? Go get your hard hat
Here's a nickel, go get us a ruler and a saw
And a drill and lots of graph paper

Yo, I used to have a rope ladder but tattered were the rungs
I strung it from the highest willow, trying to hug the sun
The seventh level buckled and I tumbled from the summit
Now I'm back to re climb and this time light my cigarette from it

My stitchin' division to vision warfares numb
Enough to soak suddenly in a bullet bath and skip stones in the morning
As I, lie in color phantom tantrum explicable
Sit and pull the petals off wild flower patches, magic happens

Behold, pity the lowlife parish
Doom city barracks left remorse coursed
On a horse drawn carriage by the torch of Polaris
To the badlands, where every bridge collapse

Right where the crowd stands
Where the witches are fireproof and every preacher's a madman
Frigid be the Appleseed demeanor towards the bay
Where the land shark parliament swims

When they pause to polish they fins
The better brains will preach the village through the city square
To the light, heavy and middle-weight integrate
Slept with sticks and stones in my pillowcase

Oohmy bomb's light simulator picks barnacles off the tugboat belly
Left my spirit home in a shoebox in case I die
Got a rugged smoke green halo floatin' inches off the swamp
Had that phase when the devil tree contacts a sparkle in my eye

Now step back from the reservoir and let the settlers drink
Salvage all priorities and iron out all kinks
My house ain't made of bricks and straw but never has it crumbled
'Cuz I stitched the brain's rigidity with symmetry
Come visit me, It's fascinating

Now here's how its done, I'm only gonna show you once
So pay close attention, hear me now or hear me never
Glue your little eyes to the diagram
See the plywood, the nails, the glue? You work every inch

Your domain and you must treat it well
Keep it clean or it'll swallow you whole
Where's the T square, hand me the pliers
Now dammit, oh this will never do

You have to want the castle, head up, shoulders back
Be the materials, know your limits only to break your limits
Are you listening? God dammit boy, pay attention
Try it again, little bit more juice this time

Try it again, yeah a little bit more elbow grease this time
Try it again, concentrate, a little more focus this time
You can kick and scream and yell but damn I'm only tryin' to help
Try it again, you're not doing it right, here now, ya'll watch

Try it again, stop sulking, I'm the example, for real, watch
Try it again, I'm bout to make it easy for you yall, just watch
You can kick and scream and yell but damn I'm only tryin' to help

[Unverified] stinging the hunt
The hunt dispatched a pack of wild dog silhouettes
All sulking by the skyline, focused with a bonus hunger pain
My sincere addiction imbalance stems
From a vintage grimace slap to the mug of

Ancestral branch camped on the vessels
Yes and I abide, the laws of the hidden desert survived
And every peasant presented it on the crescent less deprived
With the exception of pleasant finale binges

On the great endangered interests of phantom brigades
Slaving to save that princess
I double the negative, to no avail, no promised benefits
Just delegates peddling pairs of negatives
With magnified magnanimous appearance sandy sinners in opinion shut

Now what of the madness fragments? Stagnant
I oughta make a vision sing my twix cling to your pigeon wings
Vision militia indent benders , we've flooded Hell's kitchen sink
Walkin' eye civility simpleton citizen mixers to kiss the sky in unison

Sinister city blistered corporate rule igans
All I really want's a nickel to feed my little pigs
[Unverified] Big Dick three cheers to the product
Consumer populace feed but never dreamed of the process

When a slanted advantage point sort of makeshift criminals
Date rape the hostage
Dream away the blame pain, yeah but it seeps through the cracks
And drips from the ceiling and smells the rich scent of my tracks
All I ever really wanted was a jungle, and a jungle I got

See it ain't the vision it's the plot that makes me stop
Try it again, I don't want to
Try it one more time
I'm not even interested anymore

Stan Hertzman; Adrian Belew

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