Cookie Monster: Oh, hello, this Alistair Cookie and welcome to Monsterpiece Theatre. Today, we present musical story of two monsters who no can get together because ... one is inside and one is outside. Big problem! What to do? Well, let's find out. Here is "Inside, Outside Story".
(The scene is the back of a building looking onto an alleyway. A woman, Maria, stands at a window above the street, a man, Tony, stands below and two cats sit on a fence next to them)
Tony: Outside, outside
Yes, here I am outside
Out in the cold and dark alleyway
I'm here outside
How can she be my bride
If I'm out and she's in every day?
Here in my cozy room
I see my future groom
Yet I can't hold him tight
'Cause he's outside
And I'm inside this house
Day and night
Cats: He's out, she's in
Their love cannot begin
Our lovers have not actually met
Cruel fate has goofed
She's in under a roof (it begins to rain)
And he's out in the rain getting wet
My heart is nearly broken
My clothes are soakin'
Maria: I'm sure you'll be all right
Tony: Hey, wait a minute, I've got it! Tonight I'll go inside where my true love awaits! Why didn't I think of that before?! I'm coming, Maria! (he scampers off stage)
Maria: I've got it! Tonight I will go outside to find my love! What a bueno idea! Te adoro, Tony! (she scampers out of view of the window)
(sung, after Tony appears at the window and Maria is now on the street)
Together: Oh no, tonight
Must in and outside still be our plight?
(the cats shake their heads and leave. Tony sneezes)
(back to Cookie Monster)
Cookie (emotion choking his voice): Oh, oh, boy, me know how they feel. (he picks up a cookie) Right now, this cookie outside me mouth ... (opens his mouth wide, then closes it) ... oh, ho, tragedy for me tastebuds. No way. (devours it in his usual beloved style) Ohhhh, me feel better.