A Simple Desultory Philippic Lyrics

by Simon And Garfunkel

I been Norman Mailered, Maxwell Taylored
I been John O'Hara'd, McNamara'd
I been Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind
I been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
A Communist, 'cause I'm left-handed
That's the hand I use, well never mind

I been Phil Spectored, resurrected
I been Lou Adlered, Barry Sadlered
Well, I paid all the dues I want to pay
And I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce
And all of my wealth won't buy me health
So I smoke a pint of tea a day

I know a man's brain's so small
He couldn't think of nothing at all
Not the same as you and me
He doesn't dig poetry

He's so unhip when you say Dylan
He thinks you're talking about Dylan Thomas
Whoever he was, the man ain't got no culture
But it's alright, ma, everybody must get stoned

I been Mick Jaggered, been silver daggered
Andy Warhol, won't you please come home?
I been mothered, fathered, aunt and uncled
Been Roy Haleed and Art Garfunkeled
I just discovered somebody's tapped my phone