I met her at the 'Sailor Arms' A bar down by the docks Full of prostitutes and deviants And fellows wearing frocks Went there to drown my sorrow My misery and paaaiiiiaaaiiiiaan With fourteen multicoloured pills And a pint of heavy ale (heavy ale) And I saw this girl across the way Who was smiling through the wine So I begged her come on over Come on over, spend some time And I spilled my life before her And she seemed to understand Although she was a girl We were talking man to man (man to man) [Chorus]For love is where you find it Wherever that may be For me it was in the Sailors Arms At twenty-five past three There's something strange about her I can't put my finger on But I wanna tell the world That she's the one (she's the one) I wanna tell the world That she's the one She strolled up to the toilets She strolled into the Gents I asked her why she did it Why she'd gone to pay the rent We arm-wrestled and I lost She beat me with a spike Told me filthy jokes That were quite unlady-like (lady-like) It was four in the morning And through the smokey haze I could've been mistaken But she needed to shave (to shave) [Chorus]For love is where you find it Wherever that may be [ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/sailors-arms-lyrics-doug-anthony-all-stars.html ] For me it was in the Sailors Arms With a better man than me Her husky voice seduced me My heart was in a mess I sat upon her knee As something twitched beneath her dress There's something more than knees beneath her dress You've got nice eyes says I (Oh Sir, I am suprised) What large hands I said (All the better to touch you with) God, you arms look strong (A woman's work is never done) Your legs are quite hirsuite (Aren't you the saucy one!) I was feeling less than stable When she said her name was Ken (Ken!) Well if I had suspicions Lord I should've had 'em then (then!) She cried as she told me How she was so confused One more visit to the doctor She'd have nothing left to lose (Toulouse-Lautrec) I ran my fingers through her wig She lightly stroked my hair She said she was a man (Whoa whoa! She said she was a man? A man called Ken - Bull-twang!) Lots of men are called Ken. (So what did you say?) I told her I don't care (He doesn't care) [Chorus]For love is where you find it Wherever that may be For me it was in a hopper bin With my trousers 'round my knees There's something strange about her I just put my finger on And I want to tell the world That she's the one (he's the one) I want to tell the world That its the one.