I am Rattus Norvegicus.
Im sitting in some shit-hole rats nest and Im a little angry.
I wanted to be a talk show host-not a rat.
You men think you have it bad with women?
Ive got it a lot worse let me tell you.
What am I gonna say to some nice looking girl who I want to meet?
I can tread water for over 36 hours?
I can chew through lead pipes and cinderblocks?
I can run on telephone wires?!
And what if I do get the girl home?
Cant fit her though the door-its too small.
Yeah I got a lot of girls.
Howd you like to have a tail that went through your body to drag around all the time?-
Not my idea of fun by a long shot!
And do you see the neighborhoods that Im forced to live in?
Those people live like pigs!
Cant catch the subway-they havent built it yet.
Cant catch the up-town bus I cant reach the step-up.
Wants to kill me,
Feed me drugs and poison,
Put electrodes in my head and make me run on treadmills
Dissect, bisect, and defect me.
Biome, blind, mane and tame me.
Are you folks crazy?!
You never invite me to your parties as if I would really wanna go anyhow.
Have you ever asked me to go to a movie?
How bout bowling?
You ever seen a rat cry?
I got tears.
And I have a heart-and I got brains.
If you could just see past the fur,
I think that you would see
That Im a lot like you.