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Swagger Killer Lyrics

from Billy Crystal

"Swagger Killer" is track #19 on the album Billy Crystal.
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"Swagger Killer" is track #19 on the album Billy Crystal.
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Her legs crossed like a lady
short skirt, in the gym behind the velvet rope
had a glass of wine something cheap that I picked up from the waiter
moving through the crowd,
"pardon me, excuse me playa"
I know she seen me coming
there was eye contact
felt like sex, I was occupied by that
bad move, right hand, glass of wine
left hand, cold brew
"excuse me homie, step off my new shoes"
"my bad"
"it's cool"
shit I can't bursh em off cause I got my hands full
guess I have to play it off
try to step over the velvet rope but I missed and I tripped
spilled the red wine on the white dress
"sorry miss"
"Oh my God, you've just spilt wine on me"
"so, sorry, fuck"
"not even funny"
"here, let me get you a towel, I was such an asshole"
"yeah, that would be a good idea"
"I went over to, I was, I was just tryna get you a drink, I-I,
oh God, you got anything else to put on"
"No, I haven't, I haven't got anything else"
"I'll walk you over to the car, here come on"
I told her I was sorry ten times over
I took off my jacket, she put it on her shoulders
what a mess I made
she said "what a muthafucking day, walk me to the door at least"
"It's really not that bad babe, it kinda looks like a heart stain, yeah artsy"
She cracked a smile
"I knew you was trouble when you saw me gawking"
"nah, I was looking at ya from a far, even before you knew I was standing at the bar, so who ya are"
"you mean, who are you?"
"yeah I'm fumbling, all I wanted was to get a drink and get ya number then maybe later on, you and I would drive around, let me take ya home to get changed, how does that sound?"
"seeing as though you owe me a dress and I do not have a vote, so the answer will be yes"
Walk her to the Chevy
"Nice car"
Opened up her door
"What a gentleman"
I'm from the South baby
"Of course"
closed the door
"put your address in the navigation"
Somewhere in College park, so I hit the gas station
I cruised up to the pump and trunk muzik
feeling confident, thinking, yeah I'm, gonna do it
then a truck pulled up, shady, with the black tint
he rolled down the window, he was mean muggin' this chick
shh here we go, she said
"lets go quick"
he jumped out, 7 foot 5
"Who is this bitch?"
"Hey, hold up homie"
"bitch, who you calling a bitch"
"Look I just met this bitch at the bar, I ain't"
"Yo, I've been broken up with you for ages"
"bitch, you ride out with this muthafucker right here"
"Oh my God I've just met him"
"Get, your fucking ass"
"Look, I'm really sorry about this"
Get the fuck outta here
"look, just take me home"
Swagger killer!

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