Johnny Guitar Watson

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Telephone Bill Lyrics

from The Funk Anthology

"Telephone Bill" is track #24 on the album The Funk Anthology. It was written by Watson, Johnny Guitar.
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"Telephone Bill" is track #24 on the album The Funk Anthology. It was written by Watson, Johnny Guitar.
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Everybody rappin' and talkin' 'bout nothin'
And makin' 'em sexy sounds
And in the meantime and in between time
I'm down here on the ground

But now I'm not complainin' about what's pertainin'
To my present status quo
About thing's gettin' hard, ooh, my God, inflation
I know you know, listen

Now just yesterday I'd like to say
Before I got out of my bed
Now I was already tired on the for real side
And a few bills I forgot to pay

Now my phone rang and a cute little girl
Began to sing this tune
She said, Mr. Watson, I'd like to inform you
Your phone is turned off at noon

Now that came to me as no surprise
'Cause last week I went up the coast
I met a cute little girl that was all the way live
And callin' her I thought was the most

She had them great big eyes and 'em great big legs
And it gave my body a chill
So you know, I never thought about the cost
And no, a telephone bill

So I just kept on rappin'
My hands got clappin' havin' myself a ball
You know, it slipped my mind
It was at the same time I was makin' a long distance call

So that day before yesterday I ran into the problem
Just makin' them calls and hollers
And I picked up the envelope that contained my bill
Guess what, 500 dollars

Now the next time I call this big leg cutie
To make myself a date
I'm gonna call that girl way after nine
And get me the evenin' rate

Now, I ain't gonna tell her
I ain't tellin' her nothin' to blow my frown thing
But it'll be way, way, way after nine
When she'll hear her telephone ring

Ring it, ring it, ring that telephone
Ring it, ring it, ring that telephone
I said, ring it, ring it, have yourself a thrill
And when you ring it, ring it, watch your phone bill

Now I paid the bill and the deal was real
And my talkin' resumed and all
I said, "From now on, pal
I must stick to my local calls"

Now a few weeks passed and I would just guess
You know what I'm talkin' about?
I say, when I got the bill the figure was so low
I was impressed, knock me out

Now shortly that after somethin' stopped my laughter
I was outside diggin' in the yard
Heard a ding and I heard a dong
It was the phone, ooh, my Lord

Say I dropped my shovel and my body
I leveled and I made me a 100-yard dash
And then I straightened up my clothes
And I blew my nose through a Kleenex in the trash

I composed myself and I picked up the phone
And I was still kinda huffin' and puffin'
And the operator said, Would you accept a collect call?
I said, Ain't that nothin'?

But I was just cool 'cause you know
I didn't wanna be no fool and see I didn't know who it was
It was the big legged cutie from up off the coast
Tellin' me that she was in love

Now for three whole minutes I planned to talk
Not now you all know I ain't never lied
But in love or not, I planned to stop
When the third minute arrived

I went three minutes past it occurred to me
Ooh, she might talk a week
I said, I'm sorry, baby, look, I gotta go
She was a telephone freak

She said, 'Oh Johnny, talk a little longer
With you I'm so in love"
I said, 'I know where you're comin' from
I can dig it, I gotta go rehearse at the club

She said, Well, if you gotta go rehearse I'll call you later
There's some I gotta tell you what's on my mind
I said, Well, yeah okay, baby
You can call me back anytime after nine

Ring it, ring it, ring that telephone
Why don't you ring it? Ring it, ring that telephone
And when you ring it, ring it, have yourself a thrill
And ring it, ring it and watch your phone bill

Songwriters
WATSON, JOHNNY GUITAR

Published by
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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